Wednesday, March 19, 2008


That's what my run was tonight. After a very long, highly-stressed day, it was just what I needed. My day was full of gloominess -- thanks to a day without sunshine, a 3-year old who didn't want to cooperate in any sense, a 10-month old who didn't want to nap, a husband who was sick, and errands that seemed they would never get done! Even my yoga this morning couldn't calm me... All day I just kept wishing it would clear up just so I could get my Wednesday run in. By late afternoon I was already planning on just going to the gym and getting on the treadmill, but I didn't really want to do that. But as I was cleaning up dinner, I noticed it wasn't raining anymore. The clouds were moving on. You could see the sun setting! God smiled on me! I gave the kids baths and put them to bed, then hurried to the back door to check the outside temp and make sure it was still clear. I got dressed for the chilly 39 degrees outside and took off...

The street was drier than I figured it would be. The moonlight was bright, the sky clear, and so many stars in the sky. I've really gotten to love running in the chilly darkness -- I feel free, away from it all, like I could run forever. It was exactly what I needed. Empowering, invigorating, blissful...

I did a full 5K and kept my pace about what I've been running -- ran it in 34:37, with an average mile time of 11:06 (first mile 10:53, second 11:38, third 10:39). Now I'll work on improving that time over the next 2.5 weeks, when I'll be timed in an official 5K race. My goal is to run it in 30-32 minutes. We'll see... :)

[Note: You can see my last five runs (uploaded to Nike+ thanks to its plugin and my iPod Nano) on the left side of this blog.]

Yeah, great, just what I need...

So here's the 7-day forecast for Bloomington. Of course, we all know it could change daily -- but I don't think it will differ too awful much!

Today: Heavy Rain, 45/30
Thursday: Partly Cloudy, 53/39
Friday: Showers, 59/36
Saturday: Cloudy, 42/29
Sunday: Rain/Snow Showers, 42/31
Monday: Partly Cloudy, 45/32
Tuesday: Few Showers, 54/36

Where is the sunshine?!?! I'm running outdoors now preparing for a 5K, and don't need this yucky weather! I also just need some sun for some major mood improvement! Ugh!

Friday, March 14, 2008

Happy Birthday to.... Me?

My parents always tease me about my birthday countdown. Over the years I used to let them know how many days until my birthday, starting about 30 days before. But if I happen to talk to them on the 14th of any month, sometimes I mention how many more months. I'm sure it drives them nuts. :) Anyway, today's my "half-birthday"... so that means tomorrow I'll be closer to 29 than I am to 28. Six months, then perhaps I'll just stay 29. :D

Sunday, March 9, 2008

Here We Go Again...

So it's 11:50pm and I'm sitting here wide awake. I know the time changed today and it feels like it's an hour earlier, but even at that time I should be somewhat sleepy! It was another day of not drinking a lot of caffeine (coffee this morning, pop for lunch), and it's been since 2pm that I had any! It seems that no matter how tired I feel during the day I always wake up around 10pm; or even if I'm dog-tired, I still feel too awake to sleep.

I did get a lot accomplished this weekend, and maybe I'm still too wired to keep going. I have this mentality that I have to keep going or else I might lose the momentum! Then how are things going to get done?

We had a good weekend in the Wolf Household though. We finally got enough snow to do something, so we all went sledding Saturday afternoon at Tri-North Middle School. There's some good hills there! It was so nice to get out in some fresh air and sunshine. :) Lauren only went down once, but had fun watching everyone. We'd take turns going down with Carter, and he went by himself too. No fear, that boy! We were all pooped afterwards!

Carter seems to be getting better. His fever was broken before he went to bed tonight, and he ate a little bit at dinner. All day he just wanted to lie on the couch, and even said that he needed a nap! I hate seeing him that way, but maybe his body needed a little break from the constant moving he's usually doing, HA! Hopefully he's back to his normal self tomorrow. Okay, he can still be a little mellow... just not feeling sick!

Well, it's been six minutes and I'm actually starting to feel tired. I'm going to go get ready for bed, maybe do a word puzzle or two, and see if I can actually drift off to sleep. G'night!

Rough Night... and Into the Day!

I couldn't sleep last night. Despite not having much caffeine, and none after 2pm, I just couldn't get my mind to turn off! My body was definitely tired, but I just laid in bed wide awake... Then 2am came and I hear Carter "thudding" down the hall. For a 3-year old, he walks quite loudly! Anyway, he walks in asking for Mommy -- Matt answers him, and Carter again asks for Mommy. Matt says, "I think he puked -- it stinks." Great, why doesn't he want Daddy this time? He did, of course, puke -- all over his pillow and bed. So Matt takes Carter and gets him cleaned up and I strip his bed, Lysol, remake the bed, and get his sheets into the washer. By this time, I'm really wide awake since I got back up! But back to bed I go...

I'm finally in a great sleep, when Matt's alarm starts BLARING at 6:30am! He has no idea why it's set, but he's fumbling around unable to get the damn thing turned off! Here comes the thudding down the hall... We finally get it to silence, when Carter says he wants to sleep with us. Instead, Matt takes him back to bed and falls asleep with Carter. After his alarm goes off once more (evidently, only snooze was hit!), I finally get some more shut-eye.

I'm woken up by Lauren just like any other morning. Get up, and set the clocks an hour ahead. Great... not a lot of sleep, and I've just lost an hour! So now the schedule/routine is completely off for the day. The good news is that bedtime is coming an hour earlier tonight... :)

Friday, March 7, 2008

Look what Lauren can do!!


Lauren was caught playing with -- no, in -- her toys! :D

Ugh... Weather!

So just when I'm in some dire need of sunshine, we get more snow!! Being in Bloomington, you never quite know when the weather predicted will actually happen. When they say upwards of six inches, we're likely to get a couple... maybe... sometimes. But we're actually getting some light, wet snow today. All day... I really do like snow, but I'm done with it. One good thing is that I burned some calories shoveling the driveway, and throwing snowballs with Carter! Emmy also loves the snow -- she makes doggy snow angels, HA! Where was the 70-degrees we saw just five days ago?!?

Thursday, March 6, 2008

I Am A Christian

When I say... 'I am a Christian' I'm not shouting 'I'm clean livin', I'm whispering 'I was lost, Now I'm found and forgiven.'

When I say... 'I am a Christian' I don't speak of this with pride. I'm confessing that I stumble and need Christ to be my guide.

When I say... 'I am a Christian' I'm not trying to be strong. I'm professing that I'm weak and need His strength to carry on.

When I say.. 'I am a Christian' I'm not bragging of success. I'm admitting I have failed and need God to clean my mess.

When I say... 'I am a Christian' I'm not claiming to be perfect. My flaws are far too visible but, God believes I am worth it.

When I say... 'I am a Christian' I still feel the sting of pain. I have my share of heartaches, so I call upon His name.

When I say... 'I am a Christian' I'm not holier than thou, I'm just a simple sinner who received God's good grace, somehow!

Monday, March 3, 2008


So today is a pretty special day in our lives. Nothing huge, but something a little life-changing. Matt and I moved into our house eight years ago!! So hard to believe... I think this might be the longest I've ever lived in one house! We've made it a wonderful home, and have been blessed with starting a family here. With that said, we're hoping the market starts looking up so that we can look into getting a bigger house! :)


Life is hard... and I know that no one ever told me it was going to be easy. I've had this quote sitting on my desktop for a while -- "I should do it the way I want to, as opposed to trying to make other people happy." ~Johnny Weir -- and I think that I should start living by that. By nature, I'm a people-pleaser. I really do like helping people, but sometimes I take on too much. I also don't like feeling that people are mad or upset with me, and usually apologize even if it's not my fault. Sometimes I have a right to be angry, upset, or frustrated, but people make me feel like shit about it and I hate that. It's happened many times in my life, and I'd rather just apologize to make things better and put it behind me. Most the time I put myself in that person's shoes and think of how things affect them as well.

But life decisions don't just affect me, I now have a family that I have to think about too. Recently I had a decision to make -- ultimately, the decision was mutual with the others concerned. On one hand, the first option would be better in terms of mood, flexibility, and time; but the second option could also be the better choice for my family in terms of finance, budget, and keeping things more in line. I could've made this decision at any time in the last six months, but always chose option two because I wanted to be there for someone else (and have a job!). Like I said, I like helping people, but I also tend to put myself last... and have a hard time admitting that I can't do something! Things were going well, and I feel that I could've continued with this job; however, I needed to think about my family and how option one is the better choice at this moment.

But now I feel as if my life has been thrown for a loop. Things that have become the norm for the past six months have suddenly changed without much warning. I feel a strain on a very important relationship, although it was supposed to get better. I just feel really anxious and restless today. And my heart hurts... damn mitral valve prolapse! A lot of regurge, maybe brought on by the stress. I just keep going, somehow, and hope that all this passes and a new daily norm can be created. This crazy thing called life...