Sometimes It's All Too Much...

So I consider myself a pretty sane person. One who maintains control most the time, mostly because I like things planned out and organized. But right now I'm feeling pretty overwhelmed by everything. These times I'm just not really myself -- so out of control, start crying without reason, get freaked out by little things. I was so overjoyed yesterday to discover that we're having another boy. It's what I wanted! But he was a little unexpected -- and out of my plans. This was supposed to be happening next year after we tried selling the house again (and hopefully moved!). But, my plans aren't what matters. Everything is in God's hands... He has a plan, and only He knows it. That doesn't mean I have a hard time accepting that sometimes! Maybe if I was just a little filled in...

Anyway, at the moment I'm trying to figure out the bedroom situation. I know I've got time, it's just my incessant need to have things planned and organized. I think we have decided on putting both Lauren and Carter into Carter's current room. We'll have to get a loft or bunk beds, as his full size bed and her toddler bed just won't fit with much play room. There's plenty of room in the closet for both clothes (I hope so, anyway -- they have more clothes than I do!), and they can share a dresser since I hang most things up. The problem is... I'm having a hard time thinking about "taking" Lauren's room away from her. The fun part will be redecorating at least. :) But are they really ready to share a room? It just feels so forced and out of place... And it's so much change all at once for Lauren -- new baby, new room, new bed. I guess one at a time, since baby will be in our room for a few months after he's born anyway.

I just feel like I can't keep up with it all anymore. Trying to be involved with my moms group (of which I'm stepping down as organizer next month), trying to be the best mom, wife, and housekeeper... It just can't be done while maintaining my sanity! It also allows me no "me time", of which I desperately need! There's just so much to get done, and while I'm continually working on everything it seems nothing gets done! Instead, more things get added to my to-do list. I don't need things perfect, and I know I'm far from it, but I am a perfectionist. This is not good when you have two kids and two dogs!

Speaking of dogs... I did take Emmy to the vet a couple weeks ago. The vet said labs should live to at least ten years, but I can tell you that Emmy is not doing well at almost 8.5 years old. She just acts much older... She's got a few fatty lipomas that have gotten bigger, has had hip problems since she was probably around five years old, struggles to get up from sitting or laying, and now has a corneal abrasion from an eyelid that rolls in. We treated the eye with antibiotic gel and it's much better. The vet was very confused as to why her eyelid is rolling inwards, as dogs are always born with it rather than it developing. For now, we're treating Emmy with some thyroid medication (she's borderline hypo-thyroidism) to see if she can lose a little weight and help her hips, and also some aspirin. I'm doing it for a month to see if she improves. If not, we'll discuss having to put her down. I honestly love Emmy more than I could ever say, but I can't stand to see her this way. Plus, the amount of time and energy it takes to take care of an aging, large-breed dog is getting to be too much for me. And believe me, I feel guilty for thinking that! If you could only see her hobble and hear her whine!

Anyway, true ramblings of my mind. I guess I'm just tired of the day-to-day. Keeping up with housework, making every meal, etc. I just need a little break. And how will it work with three kids? I guess I just feel a little like a dog chasing its tail -- always moving, always working, yet never reaching the end goal...

The Mommy Quiz

So I took this quiz this morning to see what kind of mom I am. Hmm...

You scored as a Military mom

You are the military mom and you certainly wear the boots around your camp! You can't stand the thought of raising spoiled brats and you are not afraid to put your foot down. You make sure that your children are well equipped to live strong independent lives when they grow up and in fact you see this as the whole reason you are a parent in the first place.

Military mom 81%
Do-it-all Mommy 75%
Party animal mom 75%
Zen momma 69%
Stay-at-Home mommy 56%

Interested in taking it? Click here.

Old Wives Tales

So I was watching a baby show on Discovery Health this morning and was intrigued. A midwife was using different methods (basically Old Wives' Tales) to predict the gender of the unborn baby. On one mother, she did a couple and then they had their ultrasound to see if the prediction was accurate -- it was! I don't believe in all of them, but I thought just for fun I'd use a few of them to see what my prediction is. Don't use these to sway your vote in the poll... go with your gut! My gut feeling has been changing lately, but it could just be more of a hope. :) I can also tell you that many of them were wrong for both Carter and Lauren.

• Ring test: hold a ring over your belly to see how it swings. It swung side to side, indicating a boy. When held over my hand, it swung in a circle (a girl); when held over Carter's hand, it swung side to side. Verdict: BOY
• Gregorian calendar: uses my birthdate and date of conception. Verdict: BOY
• Chinese Lunar calendar: uses my age at conception and month of conception. Verdict: BOY
• First word of previous child: if the previous child's first word was mama/dada, next child will be that gender. Verdict: GIRL (However, before this was opposite -- Carter said dada first and then I had a girl. Lauren said mama first...)
• Mayan's ancient method: age at conception and year of conception -- if both are odd/even it will be a girl. If one is odd and one is even, a boy. Verdict: GIRL
• I took a little quiz full of old wives' tales -- it's prediction: 77% Boy, 23% Girl.

Guess we'll find out in four and a half weeks. Well, maybe... if the baby lets us. HA! I'll be posting my weekly prego blog tomorrow with a 15-week picture!